Whole30 update

Author Jake Lambrecht

Preparing for the diet: The whole 30 team recommends that you rid your house of all non-compliant foods. You don’t want temptation in the house because in those moments of weakness and frustration (they will happen), you will know where the “naughty” food is and may break the diet. I encountered a very odd problem. What to do with those two tubs of old ice cream with only a scoop on the bottom of each? There is something fundamentally wrong with washing it down the sink drain. Also, you don’t really give away old ice cream to people. Maybe you give old people ice cream. I suppose I could have really surprised our outdoor cats with some Breyers in the breakfast dish. If you were visiting a home and outside you saw ice cream in the cat’s dish, you would have to wonder how bad things must be inside the house.

The first week: I did have a couple of moments over the weekend where I found myself in a trance, looking in the cupboards for a bar of dark chocolate. I was absentmindedly staring into an empty space where the treat used to be. It was almost as though my brain could not register the fact that the chocolate WAS NOT THERE! With snack foods, there is a subconscious hierarchy we go through, from the most desired to least desired foods. It is a bit like kids choosing sides for a game at recess. There is always the poor child that gets picked last and he has to agonizingly wait until one of the captains says “Ok, I guess you are with us”. So it is with snacks, “Well, chips are gone, chocolate is taken, popcorn, crackers, cheese, pretzels, and granola bars also are taken away. Alright, carrots, I guess we’re teammates now.”

I am feeling confident. Breakfast consisted of a salad with avocado, apple, sunflowers seeds, carrots, scallion, and …a chocolate bar. Just kidding. Supper included roasted chicken in lard (Yay for lard!) with cumin, cloves, garlic, salt and pepper. On the side, roasted cauliflower that was dressed with salt, pepper, and dill. Dessert was...sitting across the table from my sweet wife (It is true, just thought I would get a few points).

My wife claims she is already getting cranky because of sugar withdrawal. This may be so, however, this morning one of our sons threw up (twice), my wife and daughter had a headache, and our youngest son needed nursing (can’t help with that one). We also had company that had stayed overnight. That is a lot of pressure, I would be cranky too.

This diet treats our bodies similar to restoring a classic car. There are a lot of old broken down parts, it runs poorly, if at all, and doesn’t really look that good. Stuff needs to be fixed and it probably won’t be cheap. However, once finished, it will be smooth running and look great.

My 8 year old son commented “This is the best diet ever!” I’m really not sure why he said that. Keep in mind, this is the child who will eat just about anything...in any amount. This is the boy who when holding his plate out to be served will NOT bring his plate back to the table until he is certain that no more food will come his way. Sometimes, after he has been served, he will look at you with these large puppy dog eyes and continue to beg with facial expressions for more food. We do feed our children, I promise. He devoured 8 fried eggs for supper last night and then proclaimed “I guess I’ll stop”. I secretly was cheering him on in my head. “Go for it buddy! Go on! See if you can do a dozen!” Of course, he is skinny as a rail as well.

We had a particularly light supper one evening and when bedtime rolled around, our 3 oldest children were commenting that they were still hungry. Since the kitchen was closed for the evening and snack food is in solitary confinement, my wife offered them kimchi (Japanese naturally fermented vegetables) as a snack. I don’t think my wife or I honestly expected them to take her up on the offer, but they did! All of them sat with a bowl of kimchi listening to their bedtime story. Maybe we aren’t feeding them enough. I’m not sure this would even happen in Japan.